


All is Fair

by gurobun



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: (but this time she's literally a queen), ACTUAL fic so please be patient, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Anya being a queen like always, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gilbert being a clueless virgin, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mentions of triggering topics, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, This is my first like, We all love him though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-02-08 21:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12873843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurobun/pseuds/gurobun
Summary: Anya is a queen, and Gilbert is her royal guard. Knowing that the poor boy is hopelessly in love with her, she takes an interest in him – but what once was a simple little crush goes much further than expected.





	1. Chapter 1

  Anya Braginskaya, the queen of Tobolsk. She walked with her head held high and her eyes narrowed; anyone that set eyes on her knew she was not a woman to be messed with.

  She was beautiful, deadly, and intoxicating all at the same time.

  That was what Gilbert Beilschmidt, a knight and royal guard, thought of her at least. He knew to be more fearful of her than the king himself – a woman like that, she could kill a man and not blink once.

  She probably had before.

“Sir Beilschmidt,” A voice catches him off guard – the tone is smooth and sweet, it makes his heart thud and his eyes widen. “Are you staring again?”

  Curls the colour of the beach on a quiet evening are brushed behind the woman’s ear, revealing her eyes to him. Of course he was staring. How could he not?

“No, my Queen-” Gilbert starts to lie, but quickly catches himself – best not to lie to the queen, after all. “.. Yes, my apologies.”

“However will you catch an intruder if you are busy staring at me, dear knight? I fear your infatuation with me may cause you to make a mistake some day.” The queen retorts, raising an eyebrow almost threateningly as she looks to Gilbert. There were times when he couldn’t tell whether she was teasing or being serious, and that kept him on his toes.

“My.. infatuation?” He asks slowly, feeling his cheeks gently flush with heat.

  Anya simply laughs, making Gilbert swallow hard. “You’re cute, Beilschmidt. Far too cute for a knight.” The woman stands from her vanity, heels gently clicking on the stone flooring as she traversed the room. Soon enough she stood in front of Gilbert, clad in gold and white, her crown almost glistening as it sat atop her head. “Take me to the dining hall. King Vadim has requested for me to meet with him.”

…

“My Queen,” The king greeted, standing from the dining table to take Anya's hand, a kiss planted upon her cheek in greeting. Although the woman had not meant it, she forced a small smile; Vadim wouldn't know the difference between that of a fake or genuine smile with Anya anyhow. She had no reason to worry. “I have news; please, join me at the table.”

  Breakfast had been prepared for the both of them; Anya took small bites from her plate, keeping her posture straight and her utensils held calmly and precisely like her mother had taught her when she was still a princess.

“As you know, the king of Lenakar has requested my presence at his kingdom in three days time. He wishes to discuss trade.” Vadim had always spoken with more or less a flattened tone – serious, stern.. _boring_. “I wish to bring Sir Beilschmidt and a few more guards of his choice-”

“Sir Beilschmidt?” Anya interrupted, casting a glance to her king, who sat opposite from her at the dining table.

  Although seeming displeased with the fact he was interrupted, his tone was still patient with Anya. “Yes. Do you object?”

“In fact I do. Sir Beilschmidt was to be my personal guard, I would not feel safe with both you and him gone from me. Please, leave him to his duties here – another knight may suit your tastes on this journey.”

  Truthfully Anya would feel just as safe with the two men gone; but recently, she'd noticed that the knight had taken a specific interest in his queen. It wasn't abnormal for the knights of her kingdom to fluster over her, but Anya could more easily ignore them – Gilbert on the other hand.. Anya enjoyed the fact that he seemed so hopelessly in love around her; he was like a young boy dealing with his first crush.

  It certainly must be sin, to enjoy romantic approaches from other men when she was already married off – but Anya didn't much care. Why should she? She was a queen, a ruler over thousands.

  She could make her own decisions if she wanted to.

  Vadim pauses, thinking. If this were any other person telling him what to do, he would have shut her down immediately; but this was his queen.

“Very well, I will choose another knight to accompany me.” He says finally, which pleases Anya.

“Thank you, dear.” The woman replies sweetly, offering a smile as she gently sipped from her wine glass.

  They finish the rest of their meal in silence; the king because he has nothing else to say, and the queen because she didn't want to say anything.

…

  The king was to leave at midday. Already having chosen another few guards to accompany him, Anya greeted him at the stables to give him a proper goodbye.

“I should only be gone for seven days. Stay close to the castle, and make sure your knight is close by at all times.” He ordered, cupping Anya's cheeks in both hands, keeping her close to make sure she would listen. To anyone else, this gesture would have looked sweet, but Anya knew what he meant: _Stay in your room until I return, I don't trust you on your own._

“Yes, my King.” Anya returned almost bitterly, closing her eyes for what she knew was coming: Vadim’s lips were cold against hers, chapped and slightly reminiscent of alcohol. She pressed back into the kiss, but only because she knew she had to.

  The king gave her a nod that she knew meant goodbye once the kiss was over, and she gave him the same treatment.

 

“You always cringe when he kisses you.” A voice chimes up behind her once the king and his men were out of hearing distance – it belongs to Gilbert, already fulfilling his duties of keeping by Anya’s side.

“I was not aware you were so fond of watching me while I kiss him,” The woman teased gently, lips twitching upwards into a grin.

  Gilbert huffs quietly, white brows knitting together “I just happened to look.. you seemed uncomfortable.”

  Anya pauses, her lips faintly pursed. Vadim was already riding off with his knights at his side, and Gilbert was the only one around; she supposed if she told the truth, at least somewhat, nothing too terrible would happen. “Say I _did_ cringe,” The woman began, looking at Gilbert finally “Why is the information important to you?”

“It’s my duty to keep you safe, my Queen. If you seem uncomfortable, I’m going to address it.”

  Gilbert always tried to keep a formal approach, but Anya could see underneath that easily. He seemed annoyed that the king kissed her when she didn’t particularly want it..

“You’re sweet,” Anya says softly, looking away from Gilbert as she continued “But you must understand that to the king, I am nothing but an object to fuck and look pretty by his side. I have never once been comfortable with that. But as a woman – as the queen – I have to pretend like I am.”

“Please forgive me, my Queen, but the King is truly an imbecile if he treats you like that..” Gilbert replies, his voice somewhat quieter now; Anya can almost _feel_ the concern in his voice.

  Laughing under her breath, Anya finally returned her eyes to Gilbert “At least one person agrees with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

  That morning, Anya woke to an otherwise empty bed – sunlight trickled in through the windows, carefully pulling her from her sleep.

  Lazily brushing a lock of hair out of her face, the woman smiled. It felt nice to wake up and know the King wasn't around, however wrong of her that was to think.

  Silk blankets fell from her form as she sat up on the mattress, revealing pale skin, shivering as the cold air met her bare chest. She would have sat there a while and relaxed; perhaps curled up with a book to read, if it weren't for the knock at her door. 

“Queen Anya? Lunch is ready, I'm here to take you to the dining hall.”

  Gilbert; she recognised the voice. Though, she seemed a little surprised at the words – lunch? She'd slept through breakfast? 

  “Come in,” She said simply, wrapping the sheet around her chest and standing from the bed, heading towards the bathroom connected to the bedroom. 

  Gilbert had just barely caught a glimpse of Anya's chest as he stepped into the room, making his face run red with colour, backing himself against the door as his eyes followed her “Your highness- you didn't tell me you were naked!” 

  With her sheet dropped at the entrance of the bathroom, Gilbert could hear Anya shuffling around in the room, probably getting herself towels and soaps for a bath. He'd requested that hot water be sent to Anya's room that morning, but he wasn't sure if it had retained its heat during that time – that wasn't exactly the most prominent thing on his mind right now, anyway. 

“I did not. Is that a problem, Sir Beilschmidt?” Anya called from the other room – Gilbert could  _ tell  _ how smugly she was grinning, and it made him want to get back at her.

“No, my Queen..” Gilbert practically grumbled, though it was true – Anya was a beautiful woman. If he were the king and had Anya as his wife, he would admire her body daily. Certainly much more than the king had.. 

“Anya,” The woman corrected, which surprised Gilbert, but she continued before he could express that surprise “And you may come in, knight. Do I have to keep inviting you?”

“Anya-?” Gilbert started slowly, feeling almost wrong to call such high royalty by their name; he was only surprised again when Anya invited him in. 

  The knight wasn't sure what to expect when he walked into the room, but he felt a small wave of relief wash over him when the bubbles in Anya's bath covered the most of her body. Even though moments before he vowed to always appreciate her body lest he become king, it felt wrong to do so now. He  _ wasn't _ the king, after all.. 

“You look like you've just seen an apparition,” The queen recalled softly, lifting one of her legs out of the water to wash it. Gilbert had been her personal guard for a short time now, but never had he been this close to her, let alone seen this much of her. “I would assume a knight as handsome as you had seen plenty of naked women before, yet you appear so..  _ surprised _ . Is it because I am your queen?”

  Gilbert smiled sort of sheepishly at the comment, but mostly out of how untrue it was – he didn't particularly think himself handsome, and neither had he slept with someone before. Which was rather embarrassing to admit for the poor knight. “Really, this is.. the first time I've seen someone naked, your highness,”

  Anya would have corrected him on the fact that her knight called her ‘your highness’ again, if it weren't for the fact that Gilbert seemed to have turned her attention elsewhere. _Gilbert is a virgin?_

“ _ Really _ ?” She inquired, purplish hues now focused on the knight “That's very interesting.”

  The way Anya looked at him made him feel like a mouse under a hawk’s hungry stare – even if his queen was the one naked, Gilbert couldn't help but feel exposed under her gaze. There was just something about the way Anya looked at him then that made his stomach stir.. “I keep my focus on my duties, my Queen.”

“Hm..” Anya hummed in thought, “I thought I told you to call me Anya?”

  The white haired male blushed, before nodding quickly “Yes- my apologies, but..  _ why _ are you letting me call you Anya?”

  Only the king himself was allowed to call the queen by her name. So why was  _ he _ being given this privilege? 

“Because,” The queen started, her lips curled into a grin “I feel that you deserve it.”

…

  Gilbert couldn’t help but recognise how much more..  _ free  _ Anya seemed in the absence of the king.

  She walked with pride, greeting every knight and servant that they passed on their way to the dining hall – and honestly, Gilbert loved it. It was nice to see his queen happy..

  At first he’d thought that what he felt for the queen was simply what most every other knight had felt; a silly little attraction fueled by impossible fantasies. But to Gilbert, Anya was more than just a pretty face – she was Anya Braginskaya, the queen of Tobolsk. Just as brave as she was powerful, she would do anything for her kingdom; even if that meant sacrificing herself. Gilbert could go on forever about her, he really could.. and in a way, that terrified him.

  Once they arrived at the dining hall, Gilbert lead the woman up to her chair. Pulling it out for her, Anya sat with a friendly smile, before gesturing to the spot next to her. “Sit, Sir Beilschmidt.”

  The man blinked once before obeying; Anya was glad he didn’t question it this time.

“I would like to go out today, and I wish you to accompany me. Perhaps you could give me a tour of the kingdom?” The woman questioned, raising one brow curiously although she knew Gilbert would obey her wishes.

“A tour,” He repeated, before straightening in his seat, grinning. The queen wanted a tour of the kingdom, with Gilbert at her side? He couldn’t help but be thrilled. “Of course. I’ll head to the stables and ready us some horses.”

“A carriage, actually.” Anya corrected, which made Gilbert pause. Laughing slightly at Gilbert’s reaction, the woman gestured towards her dress – “I surely cannot ride in this, Beilschmidt. Had you expected me to~?”

…

  Gilbert would be lying if he said that walking the queen out of the castle didn’t inflate his ego at least  _ a little bit _ . With her arm entwined with his, he felt as if he was king, and this was his queen.

  He certainly wouldn't mind that scenario.

“You keep smiling,” Anya breaks the silence first, casting a glance to her knight. 

“So do you.” Gilbert returns, helping the woman into the carriage he'd prepared whilst Anya had her lunch – Anya laughs softly, and Gilbert swears he's never heard a sweeter tune. 

“I suppose we both have things to be happy about..”

“I suppose we do.”

  
  


  The carriage ride takes them through the heart of the capital, Gilbert watching on as the townsfolk bowed at the sight of their queen. Anya, however, has fixated her gaze on the buildings themselves; she looks at them all like she'll never see them again, and Gilbert almost wishes he didn't know why. 

  The king had always been possessive, everyone knew that. But what he was most possessive about was the queen. 

  He would keep her inside for days, shutting her out from all other contact aside from their guards. 

  He would execute someone on the spot if he even  _ suspected _ them of looking at the queen the way he did. Even then, the ways he looked at her were lewd and wrong, so unlike the ways you would look at someone you loved truly.. 

  He was terrible to her. He was terrible to her, and he didn't look at her the way Gilbert did. When Gilbert looked at her, he saw the sun; golden and warm, bringing life to everything she touched. He saw a woman that wanted to be loved, that was trapped even though she had the means of escape. 

  After a while Anya rested her head on Gilbert's shoulder, making the knight’s heart flutter.

“Bring me out again tomorrow,” She requested softly, and Gilbert smiled. 

“Tomorrow, and every other day of the week.”

“Tomorrow, and every other day of the week..” She repeated. 

  And that was how it began. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so—as obvious, my previous two chapters have been.. rushed, among other things: which isn't how i intended to start this fanfic. on this chapter, i worked very hard on adding detail, going at my own pace, thinking things over more thoroughly, etc.. and i plan to go back and do the same for the previous two chapters, as well as every chapter here onward. i have SO many ideas for this fanfic, and i would hate to just fly through the build up so i can write the good parts. i'm working on it!!  
> happy reading everyone, and i hope you enjoy <3

  Gilbert walked silently through the castle halls, making his way to the courtyard where the queen was said to be. 

  He found her standing by the newly blossoming trees of spring, one hand outstretched to carefully touch its flowers. Gilbert only smiled. Anya's golden blond hair was draped in sunlight and her dress flowed beautifully behind her; Gilbert swore she was an angel..

“Queen Anya,” He greeted, making the woman turn her head and smile. 

“Sir Beilschmidt. I was wondering when you would join me..” Turning back to the trees after she spoke, Anya clasped her hands together in front of her and gently sighed “The courtyard is beautiful in the spring. Do you ever stop to look at the flowers?”

  Gilbert gave a sheepish smile, walking up slowly to stand beside his queen. Looking at the trees more closely, they  _ were _ beautiful; but they weren’t the most beautiful thing he’d seen. “Frankly.. I don’t. Most days I’m too busy to stop and enjoy things like this,” He replied, pursing his lips with a prominent displeasure.

  Anya nods, staring at the tree for a moment longer before resting her gaze on Gilbert. He shifted under the feeling of her stare, only returning it when she didn’t look away. “A shame..” She says simply, breaking their stare promptly after to look back at the trees.

  They stood like that for a minute more, taking in the stillness and beauty of the courtyard, until Gilbert spoke “The townsfolk were surprised to see you yesterday. I overheard talk of you at a bar.”

“Did you?” Anya questioned, raising a single blonde brow towards Gilbert “And what might they have said?”

“Many things,” Gilbert started, before extending his arm towards Anya, letting the woman link her arm with his “I was thinking we could talk about it over a walk through the village..”

  Anya’s eyes brightened, gladly allowing Gilbert to lead the way.

  As always, the town was bustling with life. Children scurrying every which way, salesman showing off their goods to the local villagers, people talking and laughing as they went about their day.. so carefree, not a worry in the world. Anya smiled at it all as they walked.

“Queen Anya-” Gilbert began, but before he could continue, Anya had interrupted him.

“I’ve told you—please, just call me Anya.”

“..  _ Anya _ ,” The knight corrected himself, a smile gently curving his lips. The way she corrected him, it was almost playful; certainly not how the queen acted with the king, let alone other knights. Something in Gilbert enjoyed that greatly. “Do you have any plans this week? With the king gone, and all..”

  Anya hummed in thought. “Other than to make an appearance every now and then, I'm free. Why do you ask?” She inquired with a curious tilt to her brow, and an almost  _ devious  _ grin that seemed to insinuate something about why Gilbert asked.. 

  He tried to find a smooth retort but could not, ending up only flustering himself in the process “Just curious, madam,”

“You would like to spend time with me, I presume?”

“I'm your personal guard. I spend all of my time around you.”

“As my guard, yes: but not as Gilbert Beilschmidt. That is what you want, is it not? To spend time with me as Anya and Gilbert, not the queen and her knight?” She spoke almost pridefully, and Gilbert knew exactly why. She could see through him as if he was made of glass.. she knew she was right even without Gilbert's clarification. 

  For a moment, he didn't know how to reply. “I.. yes, I suppose that's exactly what I want..” Gilbert murmured softly, feeling a slight warmth gather on his cheeks.

  By this time, they happened upon a particularly unpopulated and quiet part of town. The townsfolk kept to themselves, save for a few bows of respect whenever Anya had been noticed walking down the street.

  Anya stopped Gilbert where they walked. Staring into his eyes she brought her hand up, knuckles ghosting across the pale skin of his cheek. “Tell me when you want something, Beilschmidt.. I just might want it too.”

  Her tone was knowing, daresay even flirtatious—and something lurked in her eyes that wasn't there before. A sort of truthfulness, almost.. 

  Without thinking, Gilbert leant into her hand. They were unusually close—he could have sworn he'd felt her gentle breathing caressing his neck. It made him shiver beneath his armour “ _ Do _ you want it..?”

  Anya's lips, soft and plump, twitched into a smirk. She leant in and pressed a light kiss to Gilbert's cheek, then murmuring against his skin “I do.”

  His cheeks flushed once more: it was just a simple kiss on his cheek, but it seemed to get to him so much more. 

“Hasn't anyone kissed you before? You're blushing so much..” The woman nearly giggled as she brushed her thumb across the colour on Gilbert's cheeks, as if admiring the fact she made him blush. 

“Of course I’ve been kissed before-!” Gilbert quickly defended, but a crack in his voice told Anya otherwise. She smirked with pleasure.

“Don’t lie to your queen, Sir Beilschmidt.” Anya scolded, eyes narrowed playfully on Gilbert’s form—but she wasn’t done teasing just yet. She had another thing in mind.

  Before Gilbert could form a response, full lips had met with his, and he turned completely red.

  Anya's lips were soft and smooth against his own. His head spun as he pressed back into the kiss, feeling the very world around them fade to nothingness. All he could think: this was happening. This was really happening. All he could feel: Anya’s lips against his own, and the thundering of his heart beating up against his ribcage. 

  She tasted like what Gilbert imagined heaven felt like.

  She kissed him with such a subtle passion, Gilbert could have sworn he knew what falling in love felt like at that very moment. 

  It felt like Anya kissing him in the street, her hand cupping his cheek, and his heart heart swelling with ecstasy. It felt like the way Anya’s lips pulled into a smile, a genuine smile, as she kissed Gilbert. She never smiled when she kissed the king. Not even close.

  And then, as quickly as it had started—it stopped. Anya was pulling back, a soft hue of pink blanketing her normally pale cheeks, and Gilbert was standing there stunned. Like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Now you have,” She murmurs, gently suckling at her bottom lip—it tasted like Gilbert, reminiscent of his last meal and a slight hint of ale. 

“Anya.. but-” The knight stammers, scared, bewildered, and ecstatic all at The same time “The  _ king _ –”

“The king is in Lenakar. We needn't worry about him.” Anya quickly brushed him off, however a moment later her expression bore a devious grin “But, dear knight.. you say that as if I've just given myself to you. All I did was kiss you.”

  She was, of course, teasing. But Gilbert didn't know that, so he couldn't help but blush, growing embarrassed over her accusation of sorts. As he stumbled over something to say, Anya laughed to herself—Gilbert was so easily affected by every little thing Anya did, and she absolutely loved it. 

  Gently stroking his cheek, Anya smiled at the male “I'm only kidding. You're so easy to mess with~”

  Swallowing thickly then, Gilbert let his eyes fall to the ground. So what did that kiss mean, if anything at all? Anya still hadn't explained that part..

“So.. the kiss didn't mean anything..?” Gilbert questioned almost sadly: he felt his shoulders droop. If he was right and it didn't mean anything, he didn't know why it surprised him this much. This was the queen herself—he really expected  _ her _ to fall for  _ him _ , a simple knight and guard? 

  However, when questioned about it, Anya seemed to think for a moment. As if she really was debating it.

   Then her lips were at his ear, and she was whispering to him “It meant something to me, at the very least, my dear knight.”

 

…

 

  A warm orange hue embraced the land as the sun had begun to set, stars beginning to blink into existence over the glistening horizon.

  Gilbert had brought Anya to the very edge of town, where they were currently busy laughing and talking to one another. Balancing upon an old wooden fence, Anya held up her dress as she walked barefoot across it, Gilbert at her side in case she fell.

“How many siblings do you have?” Anya questioned curiously as she walked: they'd been talking about each other ever since their kiss, practically. Neither minded at all. In fact, they both quite enjoyed it—enough so to get lost within the topic, completely ignoring time gone by.

“Just the one. Ludwig, my younger brother.” Gilbert answered, a small smile gracing his lips. He'd raised Ludwig ever since he was a boy. He taught Ludwig all that he knew, and now he was a knight alongside Gilbert. His brother even had a wife and a child on the way—Gilbert couldn't be more proud of Ludwig, and that showed when he spoke.

“Ah, Ludwig! Of course—the king is very fond of him, you know.” Anya responded. Her expression turned rather bittersweet at the mention of the king, even by her own self. But she didn't mention it, and that time, nor did Gilbert.

  Instead, Gilbert replied with something that seemed to surprise the both of them. “ _ Everyone _ is very fond of my brother.”

  There was a second of thoughtful silence, and then Anya began again “Well,I think you’re-”

_ Snap. _

  Suddenly, the old fence gave way under Anya, leaving the woman to yelp in surprise as she fell right into Gilbert’s outstretched arms. 

  Their faces were so close, Anya could see the different specks of colour in Gilbert’s eyes, and Gilbert could see the same in Anya’s. Neither tried to move away.

“..I'm lucky you were there to catch me,” She says, laughing from the slight scare she'd just experienced.

“Yeah..” Gilbert starts, even laughing a little too once he was assured that the queen was alright. “..I think you were about to say something?”

“I was.” Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Anya steadies herself back on the ground with a little help from Gilbert “I think you're a very honourable knight. You abstain from so much just to keep to your duties.. it's admirable. Certainly to someone you work under.”

  Gilbert blushed sheepishly at the comment. More often than not, it was his brother receiving compliments over him—they were deserved, of course.. but Gilbert couldn't help but feel a sting every time his brother was chosen over him  _ yet again _ . He'd taught Ludwig everything: didn't people see the similarities in their skill?

  All of that aside, the knight was more than relieved that he didn't have to ask himself that question this time. And in all honesty, Gilbert wasn't even sure how to reply. But Anya could tell he was thankful: it was written all across his face.

  Within the silence, and their faces being so close together, Gilbert felt the urge to kiss Anya again. And he was about to, leaning in to press their lips together before-

“Gilbert?”

  Anya’s voice. It stopped him before he could lean just one  _ centimeter  _ closer, where he could then connect their lips..

“..Yes?” 

  Pushing Gilbert away with a devious grin, Anya tilted her head “I didn't say you could kiss me.”

“But you-"

“Ah ah ah~” The queen interrupted, placing her forefinger upon Gilbert’s lips to shush him “ _ I didn't say you could kiss me _ .”

  And then, Gilbert grinned “I didn't say you could kiss me earlier, but you did.”

“I knew what your answer was. I didn't need to ask.” Anya replies confidently, giving a small  _ hmph _ as she began to smirk.

  And, just like that, Gilbert’s little spur of confidence fizzled out like a single ember. Why was Anya always  _ right _ ? Huffing, Gilbert replied almost stubbornly “What if you were wrong?”

“ _ Was _ I wrong?”

“..No.”

“Very well. Then you have no reason to complain~” Anya concluded. Walking forward, she treaded as light as a feather through the uncut grass, going nowhere in particular but continuing anyhow. Gilbert was soon to follow, bringing the heels that Anya had ditched along with him.

  Anya looked so beautiful with the sunset casting over her. Gilbert supposed they should head back to the castle, but he didn't want this day to end just yet..

“What were we talking about earlier? Our family?” Anya recalled, glancing over her shoulder at Gilbert. 

“Yes—but you never mentioned yours. I'd rather talk about them than mine again, quite frankly..”

“My siblings? Okay..” Anya understood why Gilbert would rather not talk about his brother again, so she didn't try to push it. “I have one elder and one younger. Nikolai is my younger brother, Dmitry is my eldest brother. I'm sure you've heard of him—the king of Usovny? I grew up there and planned to live there, until father sold me off to Vadim..” 

  The woman sighed heavily, but didn't let that bring her down. “Nevertheless. Dmitry was always so caring, he was more like a father to me than my actual one. He protected Nik and I so fiercely  would often fear for his own safety. But even when he got hurt, he would still defend us. I thought he would truly kill father the day he declared he would send me to Tobolsk..” Anya laughed sort of fondly at the memory, then shook her head.

“He sounds like the perfect brother,” Gilbert added softly, though he didn't say much more, wanting Anya to continue rambling about her siblings. He found it relaxing just to listen as she went on. “What about Nikolai?”

“He was more of the quiet type, but he still had a lot of fight in him. Always so interested in weapons.. I hope he's put his interest to work. He would make an amazing blacksmith.” She answered, smiling. 

“You must miss them..” Gilbert replied gently, a melancholy sort of expression taking over his face now.

“..I do. I miss a lot of things about Usovny, them especially..” The woman stopped where she stood, looking up to the sky “It's getting late. We should head back, Gilbert..”

  Gilbert would have protested, if it weren't for the seriousness in Anya’s tone. Even so, it  _ was _ getting late, much later than he should have kept Anya out of the castle. The others must be getting worried. 

“Of course.. here, Anya- your shoes.” Leaning down, Gilbert outstretched his hand for Anya’s foot, to help her back into the shoes.

  Anya couldn't deny that Gilbert looked cute in that position; knelt before her, vulnerable to whatever she could do in that moment.. but it wasn't time for that now. Pushing the thought aside, Anya slipped a pale foot into the heel, holding onto Gilbert for support. 

“Today was nice,” Anya added, making Gilbert gain an ever so slight smile.

  Lifting his head up, the male stared up into violet eyes “It was.”  
  One of the nicest days he'd had, in fact. No— _ definitely _ the nicest day he'd had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Would you guys enjoy interacting with me on tumblr? I plan to give more frequent updates there, like sharing sneak peeks of my upcoming works, answering any(more) questions you guys may have, and (if applicable) share any fanarts that may arise from my fics!

  Days pass. Gilbert and Anya grow closer; one can't be found without the other, laughing and smiling as they were up to  _ something  _ new..

  Today, they were in the field next to the castle. Gilbert had managed to convince his queen to ride a horse with him out to the centre of the field, smiling to himself as she held so tightly onto his torso the entire way.

  They were to eat lunch together. Gilbert had brought knight's rations, per  _ Anya’s _ request—he thought it strange, but he wasn't going to question the queen. They were close enough to the castle to go back and get her proper food, anyway.

“It seems lovely here,” Anya comments as they reach a particular point in the field, where the rice stalks are more flattened than the rest. Gilbert gently tugs on the reigns, having the horse come to a stop. “Gilbert, what do you think? Shall we have lunch here?”

“I think we shall.” He replies, and it's a smirk sent over the man's back that makes Anya giggle, leaning in to kiss his cheek. They'd grown close over the course of the week.

  Both were well aware this little..  _ affair _ , if you could call it that, was beyond sinful. But even so, neither made a move to stop it. 

  Gilbert dismounts the horse with grace. He helps Anya down with his hands firmly cupping her sides, dress fluttering behind her—as Gilbert sets everything up for their little lunch, Anya finds herself staring at the stalks of rice, gently brushing her hand over a few and smiling at the soft noise it made. “Here, I brought a blanket for us to sit on. I wouldn't want to ruin your dress..” The knight remarks sort of worriedly, smoothing down an off-white sheet where they would be sitting. For a knight known by his fearlessness and endurance, Gilbert sure seemed to worry a lot..

“I have plenty more. The tailors will make me a new dress if this gets tattered.” Anya replies without worry, tearing her attention from the stalks and placing it back on Gilbert. She smiled at the sight; the knight preparing lunch for the both of them, making sure everything was nice and presentable for his queen. As presentable as a picnic-lunch made for two knights could be, at least.

“You know what I mean, Anya,” Gilbert scolded gently, but Anya simply hums with amusement, rolling violet eyes. They reminded him of lilacs, her eyes did.. Illuminated by a new day’s sun, contrasting against the soft golds of her hair and the stalks behind them. He wouldn't be able to count the times he'd gotten lost staring at her using both hands..

“The way you look at me..” The woman starts—she's smiling, albeit slightly. Almost as if she was trying to hide it. “I have to admit I quite like it. You've crossed my mind many times these past few days.. I almost can't seem to get you out of my head.”

  Gilbert feels his cheeks heat gently, blinking white eyelashes in surprise—before eventually shaking his head in disbelief. “I.. You’ve been on my mind, too. I’m sorry.. It’s just that no one’s spoken to me like this before,” He laughs, sheepishly, letting his gaze go astray. Anya however simply shakes her head, brushing a lock of golden hair behind her ear. 

  She places her hand upon the knight’s thigh, squeezing gently. “No.. I find it endearing you’ve not had any partners before. I’m not just another woman to you.” Her voice seems to harden as she spoke that time, and although she carried her head high Gilbert could still feel the pain in her voice. And maybe it was how her eyes glistened like the sun, how her hand felt upon his thigh, or just simply the closeness they shared.. But Gilbert couldn’t stop himself from leaning in, and ever so softly connecting their lips.

  It started slow, at first. Anya’s hands come up to cup Gilbert’s cheeks while their lips move together, and it’s loving—gentle, sweet, welcoming.. but soon enough Anya deepens the kiss, and the pace begins to change. It’s more firm, needy, her fingers sliding into his hair and gripping white strands as she pulls him ever closer.

  Gilbert is gently panting by the time Anya pulls back fully—a small bridge of saliva caught between their lips, wiped away by an embarrassed Gilbert.

  Her eyes are half lidded, and the way she stares at him makes his stomach churn with something he hadn’t quite felt before. “Anya..” He murmurs, near breathlessly—but time wasn't wasted between the two, and soon they were both diving back in for more, hungrily kissing like each moment together could be their last.

  And it could.

  Their touches sting with desire, with lust, with longing and with passion, each feeling stronger than the last. “Gilbert..?” The woman answers a few moments later, speaking in between kisses.

  They part—mostly without wanting to, and look at each other. “I don't want this to end,” Gilbert starts; his fingers are cold on her cheek, but she leans into him with such comfort. “I don't ever want this to end, Anya.” 

  Her eyes are almost hidden by her lashes, half-lidded as she stared at the ground. “Perhaps it doesn't have to end,” She murmurs just under her breath, “Maybe, if we do everything just right, it won't have to end.”

 

…

 

“I think I'm in love with her.” 

  In front of Gilbert sits two figures. The barracks are dark, lit only by a few weak candles here and there. Their voices are hushed, blending into other mumbled stories and conversations between other knights. 

“Oh, Gilbert.. in  _ love _ ..?” A second voice chimes; it belongs to one of the figures sitting in front of Gilbert. The figure is small, almost masculine but most certainly feminine as well—her name was Francine, a woman disguised as a knight in order to fend for her family. He'd known for a while; it was actually an accident he'd found out about her little secret, but that was a story for another time.

“I know I shouldn't be, but..-”

  He's cut off by Francine rolling her eyes, and the second figure speaking this time “That hasn't stopped you in the months before this.” The second figure is larger, most definitely a man; his name was Antonio. He'd been Gilbert's best friend for as long as he could remember.. they'd gone into knight’s training together, fighting alongside each other. “So why are you hesitating now?”

  Gilbert blushes sheepishly, staring down at the stone floors. He knew why, he knew exactly why—”Because now it's real.”

  “ _ What _ ?” Neither Francine nor Antonio skipped a beat, the two leaning closer as if they didn't just hear what Gilbert said. 

  Gilbert in turn moved closer to them, hesitating before he spoke. No one was listening but them, right..? “The other day, she kissed me.” Antonio seemed like he wanted to say something, but Francine elbowed him before he could open his mouth, ushering Gilbert to continue. “She's unhappy with the king, he mistreats her and I've  _ seen _ it. I want to be the one that treats her right. I  _ know _ I could treat her right.. I want to take the time to get her to trust me, and then maybe.. maybe we could have something together..”

  Francine sits back, a hand held over her heart and a soft smile upon her lips. “It really sounds like you're in love..” Gilbert feels himself begin to smile, too.. he'd known he was in love for a while, but it was nice almost to hear that same confirmation from someone else—to know for sure that this wasn't some fleeting crush.

“But you have to be careful,” Antonio leans in, concern in his voice. “The king.. he'll kill you if he finds out, Gilbert.”

  The white haired male sits back against the headboard of his bed, lips pursed into a frown. “I'm aware of the risk,” He starts, gaze lifting back up to the two. “But it's a risk I'm willing to take. For her.. I'll do anything.”

 

...

 

  It took Gilbert a while that night to fall asleep. He watched the wooden ceiling above him with unblinking eyes, pink hues barely visible in the vast darkness of the barracks.

  Anya was on his mind again. The king should be returning come a few more days, they didn't have much more time alone together. What was he to do when Vadim returned? What would happen to Anya if he found out?

  He didn't know; he didn't want to know. But he knew it would be bad, and that they had to be more careful.

  Both of their lives would be at risk when Vadim returned.

**Author's Note:**

> (a special thanks to my cutie @BLXNKE for giving me more ideas and plot points for this fic~)  
> as always, thank you for reading! Comments are very much appreciated – I love to know what my readers are thinking of my work!! ♡


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